Never Meant to Be
by yuneame
Summary: Not every story has a happy ending, but its all good if you at least attemped to catch one...and Sakura tried. Short story for Kakasaku


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_They were never meant to be. She knew that, when her eyes laid sight on that tuft of silver hair, sticking out from under a white burial blanket. He was a lot older than she was, and the girl realized long ago, that he would die before her._

_But she hadn't, not even once, imagined that he would go so soon._

Twelve Years Ago…

_(Sakura: Five years of age)_

_(Kakashi: Nineteen years of age)_

Sakura's mother was a commoner, and her father a jounin guard at the Konoha gate entrance. She stayed at home, with okaasan, to do errands and help with chores around the house. Today was no different than any other, and early in the morning the woman and girl headed off to the market, in search for fresh fruits.

So many colors! thought Sakura, when they took a path that was bathed in fallen leaves. Brown, red, yellow, orange, and sometimes even a bright green were strewn all over the street, like dots of paint on an art palette. The produce in the market was likewise, adding more variety in color, with the deep purple of eggplants in the vegetable stall and the blood red shade of cherries, ripe and ready to be eaten.

"Sakurambou" Sakura said in a bubbly voice, pulling on her mother's sleeve and pointing a stubby finger at the cherries, "Sakura!" She then said, poking her own chest, grinning toothily at the stall manager. The thin man smiled back, and offered a bag of berries to the pink haired woman whom the little girl was attached to. They paid for the fruit, and headed home, taking a shorter path closer to the Hokage's office. The older lady trailed behind, while the child skipped around in a squiggly path, stopping from time to time to shout out something interesting.

A young man headed in the opposite direction watched her with amusement, this epitome of innocence, which had the very taste of childhood sparkling in her bright green eyes. The distance between the two closed, until Sakura blindly crashed into the boy's leg and yelped in surprise and pain, rubbing her eyes to free them from tears.

Kakashi knelt down, until his height was the same as hers, and gave a soft pat to her head, letting the delicate strands of pale pink hair caress his palm. She lowered her fists from her face, and stared at the man in wonder; his mask, which concealed everything except his eyes from sight, and his flyaway hair.

The rising sun illuminated the usual gray and metallic silver, highlighting his hair like sparkling threads, a beautiful gold weaving a halo around his head. Sakura thought he looked almost godly, inhuman. But she also thought the sight of him made her warm and safe inside, arousing a pleasant tickling sensation from deep inside her.

He shifted, and a small shadow covered his head, dousing the tame fire within his locks. Sakura frowned in disappointment. The dull color reminded her of a photograph placed on the mantel at home, a picture of her father's father.

"Ojii-san?" He chuckled at her confused expression, and stood up, knowing her eyes would follow his movement.

"Onii-san." Kakashi corrected, while gracefully hopping on the roof of a nearby home. He raised a hand and gave a salute, his gesture to say goodbye, and disappeared over the brown shingles of the building. Sakura continued her sightseeing, this time clutching her mother's arm.

Kakashi saw her grab the woman's wrist, smiling happily with a faint blush on her cheeks. He lifted his right hand, and gently sniffed his palm, smelling the lingering scent of cherry blossom shampoo.

"Sakura…"

_Sakura was too scared to cry. Too scared to know what would happen if she did, and faced the truth. It was not because she was beyond the sadness of crying, or whatever they said those days, she knew it was because she was avoiding fact._

_She didn't want to, but it felt so much better than living in the pain of reality._

_Don't they also say 'ignorance is bliss'?_

Five Years Ago…

_(Sakura: Twelve years of age)_

_(Kakashi: Twenty-six years of age)_

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei! Are we finished training?" Naruto screamed, a hopeful look plastered on his face along with dirt and debris. Sakura made a 'tch' noise in the back of her throat, and went back to target practice with Sasuke. Kakashi observed the pink haired kunoichi as she snuck private glances at the expressionless boy. After a few minutes, he couldn't take it any longer.

"Alright, that's it for training today." Naruto jumped up and ran off the field, yelling something about ramen. The rest of team seven watched him collide with the fence surrounding the grounds. Sasuke yanked his kunai out of a tree and headed in another direction. Kakashi heard him mutter 'idiot'. He shook his head and walked towards Sakura, who was standing in the same spot since Sasuke left.

"Sakura-" She suddenly sprinted to her target tree, wiggled her blade out of the trunk, and proceeded to ignore Kakashi, etching a shape in the bark. He was stunned to a silence by her abnormal behavior, and swung onto a thick branch two meters away, perching on the precarious spot easily. He waited for her to head home, and then crawled through the canopy of leaves to Sakura's tree, wiping the morning dew from the foliage off his hands.

The markings on the rough surface were deep, revealing the tender white insides underneath the surface. It was a heart, and on one side, were the initials 'HS' and the other 'US'.

_English_, Kakashi noted to himself, _I guess she got tired of kanji… _After tracing the curved shape three times with his fingertips, he decided naively leave a mark of his own, too.

She held up her façade, and pretended to be oblivious to the sobbing people around her. 'Shinobi never show emotions.' She repeated in her mind.

_He wasn't dead. He wouldn't let her fall like this. Sakura didn't care if she was the only one whose eyes were dry, because somewhere within her, being stifled by a fake dream, was a part of her that loved._

_And it was a part of her that died as well._

Present…

_(Sakura: Seventeen years of age)_

_(Kakashi: Thirty-one years of age, deceased)_

"_I heard that life was a path the unfolded ahead of you the moment you were born. Everyone begins to walk towards death once they come into the world. That's just a kind way of saying 'you'll die at the end of the road'." – _MidnitexGothlue

Hatake Kakashi died a noble death. He was the one to stand in front of a fellow teammate as a shield, knowing he was already at the end of his road, falling off the end into nothingness. He believed he had nothing to regret, and intercepted the deadly attack without a moment's hesitation. He was gone in an instant, a painless passing. So quickly, that he left a part of him behind.

Sakura held that piece of Kakashi, draining her emotions into that tiny shard of her memory, before she threw it into her recycle bin. The way she did it was ruthless, cold and unlike Sakura in fact. But it was necessary.

The day after the funeral, the sun was shining like twelve years ago, the bright rays somehow creating a more depressing mood. She went to the training grounds, _their_ training grounds and grabbed the hilt of a kunai, studying the edge of the dark metal before dashing to her target tree. Sakura undid the knot from her headband and let her pink hair fly out behind her as she ran. With the wind tickling her skin, the speed was almost exhilarating.

Almost.

Until she paused facing a large maple tree, the shape of a heart right at the height of her nose. _What? This wasn't_ _where I drew mine…_She thought. The aging plant must have grown over five years, so her inscription would probably be above the top of her head, but this drawing was obviously below that.

Sakura backed away a few steps and peered into the flickering shadows draped over a larger illustration, reading 'HS' and 'US'. It was hers.

Somehow afraid to see what the unfamiliar scratch marks were, she inched forward, placing one foot ahead of the other with agonizing torpidity. Finally, she had a clear view of the outline.

Inside a small heart much neater than Sakura's were also two initials.

'HS' and 'HK', and between the letters were the words 'Never Meant to Be'.

It was lacking in size, because he longed for them to be closer together.They were trapped inside the border, and not separated outside, because he hoped she would like him back.

He left not a scar on the surface, but his feelings. It was in the shape of a heart, because he loved her.

That night…

_How absurd_, Sakura thought. The salty streams finally made their way down her pale cheeks, leaving behind two sets of wet tracks. They refused to come out during the burial ceremony, but now that she was alone in her room, droplets poured out from beneath her eyelids willingly.

It was a while before she remembered to sob, glad that her parents were both asleep. Hiccuping into a comforting stillness calmed her, and Sakura crawled into bed, wrapping the soft orange blankets tightly around her body. She began praying, hoping that sleep would come and relieve her of the pain twisting up her insides.

Even though a thin layer of sweat glistened on her forehead, she forced herself deeper into her cocoon of covers, trying to exude her sadness away. It was so warm, in that small comfort, but not hot enough to warm Sakura's heart.

Gradually an inviting weight pulled her eyes shut, and she relaxed from her strained pose, peeling the peachy towel-like material away from her shoulders. Sakura felt peaceful, almost like her unhappiness was drained away, and her arms were so leaden she didn't even brush away the pink hairs sticking to her neck.

_Dreams…_she pleaded with her mind.

But no sooner had she changed her resting position, did the images of _that_ mission flash in the darkness behind her eyelids, causing the muscles between her eyebrows to tense in fear and recognition. The one and only thing she truly was afraid to remember ever again, the day her previous sensei sacrificed himself.

If Sakura was being honest, most of the throbbing pain she was suffering was because she felt so useless. Now that the dreaded images were burning their mark into her subconscious, there were no dreams to come. Or rather…she hoped it was a dream, the battle that she recalled all too clearly for her own good.

It was nothing else…but the instant she was paralyzed. There was no turning back, as the slow playing movie acted like poison to Sakura's conscience, forcing her to jerk her head like a slap to the face. Her inner self began to spew out the outer's once lived nightmare, repeating the words…

You killed him…

The truth. She was of no value to the team, if all she could do was kill an ally. If she was so weak, that the enemy could immobilize the skilled medical ninja that Sakura thought she was. If, she sunk to the point where she was of no worth to herself.

If…she ever needed Kakashi to stand over her cowering and motionless body to block the last blow…

She was just a piece of trash.

Life moves on whether you're stuck or not.

She learned that. The world continued to spin, and Sakura continued to exist. Enjoying it was going too far, but she wasn't dead yet, living the words 'never meant to be' for an infinity and two times.

Not every story has a happy ending, but its all good, if you at least attempted to catch one.

And Sakura tried.

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End file.
